The Art of Gathering

Think about it, when you charter a boat for a wedding, team building event, memorial or ash scattering…. the mission is the same - bring people together - make it memorable, special and impactful. After reading The Art of Gathering recently we at Bay Lights Charters have taken to heart this mission,. You can too!

The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker is a book about the importance of creating meaningful and impactful gatherings, whether they are small and intimate or large and public. Parker argues that we often overlook the power of gatherings and the potential they have to bring people together and create positive change.

The book is divided into three parts: Invitation, Principles, and the Art of Gathering. In the first part, Parker emphasizes the importance of a well -crafted invitation. She argues that a good invitation sets the tone and expectations for the gathering, and that it should be specific, personal, and set the agenda for the event.

In the second part of the book, Parker lays out five key principles for creating successful gatherings. The first principle is to embrace a specific purpose, or what she calls a "bold" purpose, for the gathering. This purpose should be something that is meaningful and inspiring to the attendees and should guide the entire event.

The second principle is to create a clear and strong group identity. This means setting clear expectations for behavior and participation and creating a sense of belonging and shared purpose among the attendees.

The third principle is to focus on the actual experience of the gathering. Parker argues that too often, we focus on the logistics of an event, such as the food, drinks, and decorations, but forget about the actual experience that we are creating for the attendees. She encourages organizers to think about how they can create a transformative experience for their guests.

The fourth principle is to design for participation. Parker believes that attendees should be active participants in the gathering, not passive observers. This means creating opportunities for engagement, such as small group discussions, interactive activities, and shared experiences.

The final principle is to embrace the power of endings. Parker argues that the way we end a gathering is just as important as how we start it. She encourages organizers to think about how they can create a meaningful and memorable ending that leaves attendees feeling inspired and connected.

In the third part of the book, Parker provides a practical guide for applying the principles of the Art of Gathering. She covers topics such as how to design a guest list, how to create a welcoming environment, how to handle difficult guests or situations, and how to create a sense of intimacy and connection among attendees.

Throughout the book, Parker uses a variety of examples to illustrate her points, from small dinner parties to large-scale conferences. She also draws on her own experiences as a professional facilitator and event organizer to provide insights and advice.

Overall, The Art of Gathering is a thoughtful and insightful book that encourages readers to think about the power of gatherings and how to create meaningful and impactful events. Parker provides a clear framework for designing successful gatherings, and her advice is applicable to a wide range of settings, from personal gatherings to professional events. Whether you are an experienced event planner or someone who simply wants to create more meaningful gatherings in your personal life, The Art of Gathering is a valuable resource that will inspire you to think differently about the events you organize and attend.


The principles of The Art of Gathering can be adapted to small gatherings on a sailboat in several ways:

  1. Embrace a bold purpose: For a sailboat gathering, the purpose could be to enjoy the experience of sailing and being out on the water with friends, co-workers, & family or to celebrate a special occasion like a wedding, Memorial Ash Scattering, Corporate Team Building or Reward sail. Having a clear purpose will help set the tone and expectations for the gathering.

  2. Create a clear and strong group identity: On a sailboat, it's important to establish clear expectations for behavior and safety. This could include guidelines for how to behave while onboard, safety protocols, and rules for navigating the boat. We at Bay Lights Charters do this and more.. we set the expectation for fun, learning, participation in rasing sails and so much more.

  3. Focus on the experience: The sailing experience itself is a transformative experience, but you can enhance it by planning activities such as exploring new areas along the coast. You can also create a memorable experience by incorporating elements such as music or storytelling into the gathering. Our Crew on Gas Light are well versed on the history of the San Francisco Bay, the Scow Schooner Tall ship we sail as well as the wild life and surrounding iconic views.

  4. Design for participation: On a sailboat, everyone has a role to play, whether it's steering the boat, hoisting the sails, or enjoying food and beverages on deck . Bay Lights Charters encourages participation by involving everyone in the sailing process, and plan activities that allow everyone to contribute and engage with each other. One example of this is, we ask guests not to get their own cocktail but enlist a fellow guest to do it for you. This encouages interaction and conversation.

  5. Embrace the power of endings: The end of a sailboat gathering could include a last call as well as thank yous, maybe you pre-determine someone who will speak at the last call and guide the guests to where everyone reflects on the experience and shares their favorite moments. You could also plan a special activity, such as rose thorn ceremony to mark the end of the gathering.

In addition to these principles, there are other factors to consider when planning a sailboat gathering. For example, you'll need to think about the logistics of provisioning and catering onboard, as well as ensuring everyone is comfortable and has access to necessary amenities. You'll also need to consider the weather and plan for any potential safety issues.

Overall, the principles of The Art of Gathering can be adapted to any setting, including small gatherings on a sailboat. By embracing a bold purpose, creating a clear group identity, focusing on the experience, designing for participation, and embracing the power of endings, you can create a memorable and meaningful gathering that brings people together in a unique and transformative setting.


If you are hosting an event with the principles of The Art of Gathering in mind, here are some questions you may want to ask yourself:

  1. What is the bold purpose of the gathering? How can I ensure that the purpose is clear and meaningful to all attendees?

  2. How can I create a clear and strong group identity? What expectations and guidelines should I establish to ensure that everyone feels included and comfortable?

  3. What is the overall experience that I want to create for attendees? How can I make sure that the gathering is transformative and memorable?

  4. How can I design the gathering for participation? What activities or opportunities can I create to encourage engagement and interaction among attendees?

  5. How can I embrace the power of endings? What can I do to create a memorable and meaningful conclusion to the gathering?

  6. Who is on the guest list? How can I ensure that everyone feels welcome and included?

  7. What is the physical environment like? How can I create a welcoming and comfortable space for attendees?

  8. How can I handle difficult guests or situations that may arise during the gathering?

  9. How can I incorporate elements of surprise or delight into the gathering? What unexpected touches can I add to make the experience even more special?

  10. How can I ensure that the gathering is inclusive and respectful of everyone's backgrounds and perspectives? How can I create a space where diverse voices and opinions are welcomed and heard?


Team building activities on a sailboat can be both fun and effective, as they can challenge your team's communication, collaboration, and problem-solving skills in a unique and memorable setting. Here are some examples of team building activities that can be done on a sailboat:

  1. Sailing challenges: Set up challenges that require the team to work together to sail the boat, such as a race against another boat or navigating through a course of buoys. These challenges can help the team develop their communication and teamwork skills, and they can also be a lot of fun.

  2. Navigation exercises: Have the team take turns navigating the boat using a chart or GPS. This can help the team develop their problem-solving and decision-making skills, as well as their ability to work under pressure.

  3. Man overboard drill: Set up a drill where a life ring or buoy is thrown overboard, and the team must work together to quickly rescue the "man overboard." This exercise can help the team develop their coordination and response time in emergency situations.

  4. Knot-tying competition: Set up a competition where the team must race to tie different types of knots correctly. This exercise can help the team develop their manual dexterity and teamwork skills, and it can also be a lot of fun.

  5. Treasure hunt: Create a treasure hunt where the team must navigate the boat to different locations to find clues or complete challenges. This exercise can help the team develop their problem-solving and communication skills, as well as their ability to work together to achieve a common goal.

  6. Cooking challenge: Have the team work together to prepare a meal onboard the boat, using only the supplies and ingredients available. This exercise can help the team develop their teamwork and creativity skills, and it can also be a fun way to bond over a shared meal.

  7. Group storytelling: Have each team member take turns telling a story or sharing a personal experience. This exercise can help the team develop their communication and listening skills, as well as their ability to connect with each other on a deeper level.

  8. Charades or other word-based games: These types of games can be played onboard the boat, and they can help the team develop their communication and teamwork skills, as well as their ability to have fun and relax together.

Overall, there are many team building activities that can be done on a sailboat, ranging from challenges that require physical skill to exercises that focus on communication and collaboration. By choosing activities that are engaging and fun, you can help your team bond and develop important skills that will benefit them both on and off the boat.

Here are some additional examples of games that can be played as team building activities:

  1. Taboo: In this game, players take turns trying to get their team to guess a word without using certain "taboo" words or phrases that are listed on a card. This game can help improve communication and teamwork skills.

  2. Scrabble: Scrabble is a classic word game that can be played in teams. Players use letter tiles to create words on a game board, earning points based on the letters used and the placement of the tiles. This game can help improve vocabulary and strategic thinking skills.

  3. Balderdash: In this game, players take turns reading a word from a card and then writing a definition for it. The other players then vote on which definition they think is the real one. This game can help improve creativity and critical thinking skills.

  4. Bananagrams: Bananagrams is a fast-paced word game that can be played in teams. Players use letter tiles to create their own crossword grid as quickly as possible, trying to be the first to use up all their tiles. This game can help improve vocabulary, spelling, and quick thinking skills.

  5. Scattergories: In this game, players are given a category and a letter, and they must come up with as many words as possible that fit that category and start with the chosen letter. This game can help improve creativity and quick thinking skills.

  6. Murder mystery party.

  7. Hangman: In this game, one player thinks of a word and draws dashes on a piece of paper to represent each letter. The other players take turns guessing letters, and each incorrect guess results in a part of a stick figure being drawn. The game continues until the word is guessed or the stick figure is completed. This game can help improve vocabulary and spelling skills.

These word-based games can be played in a variety of settings, including onboard a sailboat, and can be adapted to fit the needs and skill levels of your team. By incorporating these games into your team building activities, you can help your team develop important skills while also having fun and building relationships.

If you enjoyed "The Art of Gathering" by Priya Parker and would like to explore more books on the topic, here are some additional suggestions:

  1. "The Joy of Missing Out: Live More by Doing Less" by Tonya Dalton - While not strictly focused on gathering, this book offers tips for simplifying your life and creating more meaningful experiences with the people you care about.

  2. "The Gathering: How to Create Groups that Thrive" by Priya Parker - This is Priya Parker's follow-up to "The Art of Gathering" and provides additional insights and strategies for creating successful gatherings.

  3. "Better Together: How to Leverage Community and Networks for Power and Impact" by Danielle Gibson - This book explores the power of community and provides tips for building and nurturing connections with others.

  4. "The Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences Have Extraordinary Impact" by Chip Heath and Dan Heath - This book looks at how creating memorable moments can transform ordinary experiences into something truly special, including gatherings.

  5. "The Connected Company" by Dave Gray - This book focuses on how to create a connected and engaged company culture, which includes strategies for fostering meaningful interactions and gatherings.

  6. "The Art of Community: Seven Principles for Belonging" by Charles Vogl - This book explores the importance of community and provides practical tips for creating and nurturing communities that are inclusive, supportive, and meaningful.

These books can offer additional insights and strategies for creating successful gatherings, building meaningful connections with others, and fostering a sense of community. By reading and applying the lessons from these books, you can take your gathering skills to the next level and create truly transformative experiences for yourself and others.

"The Gathering: How to Create Groups that Thrive" is a follow-up book by Priya Parker to her previous work, "The Art of Gathering". In this book, Parker builds on the themes of the first book and provides additional insights and strategies for creating successful gatherings.

Parker argues that gatherings have the power to bring people together, create connections, and drive positive change in the world. However, many gatherings fall short of this potential because they are not thoughtfully designed or intentionally planned.

To help readers create more meaningful gatherings, Parker offers seven key principles for successful gathering design. These principles include:

  1. Start with purpose: Every gathering should have a clear and specific purpose, which should guide all aspects of the design and planning process.

  2. Design for the guests: Gatherings should be designed with the needs, desires, and experiences of the guests in mind, rather than simply catering to the preferences of the host.

  3. Create the container: The physical and emotional environment of a gathering should be carefully crafted to support the purpose and goals of the gathering.

  4. Keep it real: Authenticity and vulnerability are essential for creating genuine connections and fostering trust among guests.

  5. Activate participation: Guests should be encouraged to actively participate in the gathering, rather than just passively consuming content or activities.

  6. Tend to the endings: The way a gathering ends is just as important as how it begins, and should be designed to leave guests feeling energized, inspired, and connected.

  7. Follow up: Effective follow-up is essential for building on the connections and momentum generated during the gathering, and for ensuring that the purpose and goals of the gathering are realized over the long term.

Throughout the book, Parker provides numerous examples of successful gatherings that illustrate how these principles can be applied in practice. She also offers practical tips and tools for gathering design and facilitation, and explores the ways in which gatherings can be used to drive positive social change.


"The Gathering: How to Create Groups that Thrive" by Priya Parker

In "The Gathering: How to Create Groups that Thrive," Priya Parker provides several examples of how to encourage active participation from guests in a gathering. Here are a few of them:

  1. Small group discussions: Breaking attendees into smaller groups for discussions can encourage active participation from everyone. This allows for more intimate and meaningful conversations, and can be particularly effective when the larger group is too large to allow for everyone to speak.

  2. Storytelling: Sharing stories can be a powerful way to engage attendees and foster connection. Parker suggests inviting guests to share a personal story related to the gathering's purpose, which can help create a sense of intimacy and trust among participants.

  3. Group activities: Engaging guests in interactive activities can help to break down barriers and encourage participation. This can include games, team-building exercises, or other activities that are relevant to the gathering's purpose.

  4. Workshops and breakout sessions: Offering workshops or breakout sessions on specific topics related to the gathering can be an effective way to encourage active participation. These sessions should be designed to be interactive and engaging, with plenty of opportunities for attendees to share their own ideas and experiences.

  5. Open discussions: Hosting an open discussion where guests are invited to share their thoughts and ideas can be an effective way to foster engagement and participation. The discussion should be carefully facilitated to ensure that everyone has an opportunity to speak and that the conversation stays focused on the gathering's purpose.

By incorporating these types of activities into a gathering, hosts can encourage attendees to actively participate and engage with one another. This can help create a more meaningful and impactful experience for everyone involved.

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